THE BOTTLE WRENCH OPENER

Did we mention that our favorite color is chrome and that instead of a baby rattel our parents stuck Snap-on tools in our little hands at birth? All true. That’s why this little beauty makes our chest sprout forth with dense hair while we offer up guttural growls. All our woes are solved in this manly little gadget. First, if you use it, you get beer. Nuff said. Second, you won’t be forced to use your wives fancy schmancy can opener from Pampered Chef to get said beer. And third, it’s chrome. Done.

GET IT – $8-10